you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
