Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
