She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
