JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
