just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
