the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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