I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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