spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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