My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
