naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Someone shattered a urinal.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
