stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
