I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
