then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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