The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
