they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
