Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
There's even glitter on my cock...
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