...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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