you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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