we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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