..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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