Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
only you would photoshop your dick
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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