is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
