So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
