her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
