the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
