He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
