very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
