this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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