It's like God shit irony all over that family
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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