Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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