Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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