apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
