just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
