He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
