I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
