when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
