Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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