And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
