I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
