Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
