the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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