I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
