Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
