I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
