I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is it because I queefed?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
