She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I will be naked everywhere
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
