Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
