Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
