i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
