so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
