mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
